What They Don't Tell You in College: Managers

We took classes about how to be a manager or leader; we discussed workplace hierarchy, and sure there were off-handed comments from professors about horrible bosses they had over the years which would spark wild conversations over who had the meanest boss...

But what we never discussed was managerial types and how to respond to them as the subordinate.

I haven't had too many jobs or managers over the years, and so far, most have been incredibly pleasant! My managers for tennis, the library, and through the school system all allowed me to be fairly independent and seemed to really trust that I was doing a good job. They also all provided a lot of praise and encouragement and little critique along the way.

Of course I wasn't perfect in any of those roles, and maybe I could've used a little more constructive criticism at times, but it wasn't until I was in a role more recently that I started recognizing my desire for that positive reinforcement that I had always received previously.

I was working in a role that was a temporary project and therefore the timeline was condensed as is. The scope kept growing, and I never felt like I could quite wrap my finger around the exact need of the stakeholders. However, the most difficult part of this whole situation was actually the manager. He was plenty nice and supportive, and he definitely helped me improve my Tableau skills tremendously! I just didn't realize how much I craved verbal affirmation about my work and how little I was receiving from this manager.

He definitely improved over time in this regard, and I was able to give feedback in the end about how I thrive off of verbal encouragement and affirmation, and he took it well. It didn't make my time during the project any easier though. I had to learn how to give myself affirmation that I was doing a good job and focus continually on the small wins. It was a very tough adjustment for me...

I do think that learning by experience is the only way to "prepare" yourself for a less-than-ideal managerial situation. No class in college probably could've taught me any of this; however, I know I am not the only person who has had a difficult experience with a manager, and I do think we need to be more aware of this possible conflict before entering the workplace. There are certainly an endless amount of reasons why a manager and employee wouldn't mesh, but if I didn't have the support system at the Hartford that I do (who encourage me in many other ways), I think I would've struggled.

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I will add that my faith helped as well since I try to go into every day not looking to satisfy my own need to be successful and appreciated but to do everything to the glory of God! I don't need human affirmation all the time - even if I'd prefer it - because my Father has given me all the affirmation and assurance I need in the willing death and miraculous resurrection of His Son.